For some people the holiday time with friends and family is a time of joy and laughter, for others it’s the opposite. The pressure to do everything in a perfect way, the last personal touch to every detail, home made food, decorations… is just too much.
There are a few simple keys to step out of the stress and joyously embrace the holidays. Some of them may be new, others you know already. If you manage to stay your ground is a question of implementing them in a direct and practical way.
Here are the 3 key strategies you need to have in place so you fully can enjoy your holiday, get re-energized and prepare for the New Year to come.
Key # 1 – Knowing What You Want and Stick To It
When asked, many people don’t know what they want. Still they have a bad feeling when they agree to things they don’t want to do. Knowing what we don’t want is easier to identify because we don’t feel good when we do it. Intuitively we know what is not good for us.
Many of us say yes to things we don’t want to do or have. After working with hundreds of clients I found that most people don’t know where their absolute yes and no are located in their bodies. And they fear they will miss out on acknowledgement, love and appreciation if they say no.
Most stress management techniques teach us that we shall learn to say no and then the problem solves itself. Well, it isn’t quite that easy for obtaining sustainable relaxed balance.
Here are a few questions you can have fun with and learn what yes and no means to you:
How do you know what to say yes and no to?
Where is your absolute yes / no located in your body?
When you say yes, what do you say no to?
Adults make it difficult for them selves by thinking they will not be accepted or people will be angry if they say what they really want. If you want a great role model, look at a child. Children, before they are taught differently, have the innate power to say exactly what they want, or don’t want. Having four kids myself, I know by heart that children are very good at practicing saying NO!
Key # 2 – Knowing Who’s In Play
When you agree to do what you don’t want to do, there is a part of you that requires something. It can be love, acknowledgement or something else you want form the other person. It can also be fear of not belonging, loosing somebody, or not being seen as the great person you are. Knowing what part of you, or what persona, is acting, helps you to understand what’s going on, so you can make a better choice for you.
Following questions will help you become clear about who is out to play:
Who are you satisfying or trying to pleasing by saying yes?
What is it you want? What do you require from that person?
What if pleasing wasn’t so important?
Now when you know the answers to my questions, see how your own “game” is playing out with family, friends, colleagues, and in your closets relationship. Is there something you are willing to change?
Key # 3 – Knowing The Art of Being Present in The Now
How much of your awake time do you live right now? Strange question you may think. Let me reframe it; How much of your awake time are you trying to change something that happened yesterday, or just 5 minutes ago? And how much of your awake time are you planning for the future?
If you are like most people, you have thoughts and feelings of regret, resentment, and anger for something that has happened. Or, you think of what will happen if… or when…
Sadly enough it is a total energy waste! You can not change the past. It’s of no use to plan for “if” or “when” either. It may never happen. Changing the past or worry for the future takes us out of balance and increase stress, anger, fear or sadness.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself when you feel the stress creeping up your back:
Are your thoughts in the past of in the future?
Where is your energy?
If you were fully present, in what you were doing, how would your energy shift?
To shift into the present and focusing your energy on joyful activities, breathing and appreciating is the key tool. Take a few deep breaths and appreciate at least three things you see around you right now.
Bonus: The Number One Key For a Stress Free and Energy Regaining Holiday
In the midst of stress and overwhelm, here is the number one key to instant stress relief;
Close your eyes. Take five deep breaths. Feel the ground under your feet. Feel the presence of your whole body, from the top to the bottom. Breathe again. And yet another breath. Feel how your body relax and how it fills with oxygen.
Enjoy Your Holiday
Time!
